[VOICEMAIL/IC CONTACT]

[doc_pompous]

[ Doctor Simon Tam ☤ SCI»010»030 ]

You've reached Doctor Tam. Please state the nature of your call.

specify
[ video ☤ voice ☤ text ☤ action ]

Comments

[bribed]

Great. [ UGH READERS. ... wait. ]

Maybe that Smiley thing is a Reader, too? It'd explain how it knows.

[doc_pompous]

I'm not sure of anything at this point.

[bribed]

Well that's great.

[doc_pompous]

Did you expect me to have an answer, or something? I'm just as in the dark on this ship as anyone else.

[bribed]

[ A grunt. ] Just don't like this place.

[doc_pompous]

I'd be hard-pressed to find someone who does.

[bribed]

If it weren't for all the creepifyin' things, maybe it wouldn't be so bad. You two wouldn't be hunted all over the ass-end of the 'verse.

[doc_pompous]

Well, we can't be sure of that now, either.

[tl;dr smiley knows about the hands of blue somehow and this entire situation is dumb and terrible]

[bribed]

Stars ain't right. This ain't our 'verse.

[doc_pompous]

Still, I'll move upstairs. We'll keep each other safe as best we can.

['We', of course, meaning the collective 'we', not you specifically, Jayne, because that's weird.]

[bribed]

Yeah.

... Maybe you oughta learn to shoot, Doc.

[doc_pompous]

Yes, maybe I should.

Are you...offering? Maybe that's a little presumptuous of me.

[bribed]

Uh. [ He hadn't been, really, but now that Simon mentions it... ]

Prob'ly better me than one o' the others in gunnery. An' it's my job an' all on here, now.

[doc_pompous]

You do know I've held a gun maybe...three times in my entire life.

[bribed]

Yeah, I've noticed.

[doc_pompous]

I'm just...making sure you're aware.

[bribed]

I ain't lettin' you use none of mine, so it don't matter so much to me unless you end up shootin' me.

[doc_pompous]

I'm not going to shoot you!

[bribed]

Maybe not on purpose.

[doc_pompous]

Jayne. I can reattach severed limbs. I'm not going to shoot you by accident.

[bribed]

... What d'those have to do with each other?

[doc_pompous]

Steady hands.

[bribed]

[ oh, those ]

We'll get ya able to aim an' shoot an' clean an' reload an' all that in no time, doc.

[doc_pompous]

All right. I'll trust you on this one.

[bribed]

If there's one thing I know, it's weapons, doc. You'll be right as rain with 'em in no time.